Another Parallel Dimension
by setiferousVeracity
Summary: Dave selfishly decides to prevent John from playing Sburb, and surprisingly succeeds. Unfortunately, the path ahead contains its share of twists, turns and blunders.
1. The Prologue

You know you're cool when aliens from another dimension ask for you specifically. Even over a pitiful service like Pesterchum. Of course you knew you were hella cool before, but it feels like fucking Christmas up here. Are you being sarcastic? Fuck yeah.

All jokes and excessive swearing aside, you respond to the "alien's" message.

TG: is there any sort of reason why I should believe you

TG: because im looking for one

TG: but I cant find it

CG: YOU FUCKED EVERYTHING UP, BIG TIME.

CG: YOUR SASSY, SELFISH EXCUSE FOR A THINK PAN DECIDED IT WASNT ENOUGH OF A FAILURE YET AND DECIDE TO BASICALLY DESTROY THE FUCKING UNIVERSE OVER YOUR FRIEND PLAYING A

CG: STUPID

CG: FUCKING

TG: wait

CG: GAME.

CG: GOD, YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS STRIDER.

TG: im sorry

TG: its too ingrained in my personality to actually

TG: fucking

TG: care

TG: see what i did there

CG: I SEE WHAT YOU FUCKING DID.

CG: AND IM TIRED OF LOOKING AT THIS STUPID FUCKING ASTEROID WITH ALL MY STUPID "FRIENDS" AND KNOWING I COULD HAVE BEEN GONE FIVE YEARS AGO.

CG: SO DO US ALL A FAVOR

CG: AND GET YOUR SORRY ASS OUT OF THE FUCKING CHAIR.

You think back to how it all began. It started when you were 13, like all the stories do. It was your birthday.

Bro was acting unusual that day, when you could see him a coy smile played across his face. It was unsettling, to say the least, but you figured the extent of any possible damage would be having to swim through a pile of smuppets. You figured wrong.

"I got you a birthday present, lil' man."

Apprehensive, to say the least, you look him right in the shades and raise your eyebrows.

"I promise you it's good." His voice sounds strangely sincere, though you never trust his word anyway.

You open the envelope he hands to you and grin. "No risk, no reward."

"What risk?" Bro tilts his shades down and continues in a mock tone. "I'm not a risk!"

You roll your red eyes under your pointy shades. Inside the envelope are two pieces of paper. They are tickets to an anime convention, right there in Texas, probably a few blocks away. You can't help but feel a little let down as you know he probably bought them so he could go. Something tells you, however, that he'd have just bought a ticket for himself if that was the case.

"Really?" you ask, looking back at him.

"What could be better than looking at the asses of hot anime dudes?" His voice, carrying its southern lilt, was deep and gravelly. "I thought you'd appreciate that."

You raise your eyebrows and exhale loudly.

"Plus your nerd friends are going." His coy smile returns. "Even the Egderp is coming. His father is a royal pain in the ass, let me tell you that."

You are ever-so-slightly speechless, but manage to squeak out a thank-you.

"Hope you don't mind. This is basically our whole fucking life savings so don't waste these precious three days."

You assure him you won't, (coolly of course) and run to your room. Opening pesterchum, you message John.

TG: how long have you known

TG: sneaky little motherfucker

EB: know what?

TG: god

TG: the stupid convention

EB: oh that!

EB: ive known about it for a couple months now.

EB: dad was really cautious about me going.

EB: so he's coming along too.

EB: i hope you don't mind!

TG: i don't really give a fuck man

TG: he might be uncomfortable there though

TG: bros angling to look at some anime booty

TG: fuck

TG: that sounded ridiculously uncool

EB: it kinda is.

EB: i can't wait to see you and rose and jade though.

EB: hows jade gonna get there though?

EB: do they have planes on her little island?


	2. Finding Friends in Crowded Places

On the day of the convention you are exited, but you retain your cool attitude. It seems to you like you've known your friends since the beginning of the universe, but since you all moved away from each other it's gotten a little harder to stay friends.

You finally sign in to the convention after two hours of waiting in line. A quick pesterlog with John reveals he got there with his father at around three in the morning to avoid the massive behemoths that are convention lines.

You pester Rose to see her position in these line waiting shenanigans.

TG: where are you

TG: i just finished in the line

TG: its fucking huge

TT: What are you referring to?

TG: the line of course

TG: duh

TT: I guessed that was the case. I am currently with Jade right now just inside the main entrance.

TT: We finished in line about a half an hour ago.

TG: wheres john

TT: I believe he is with his father browsing the spectacular collection of artwork in the art hall.

TG: Though, that is just conjecture at this point, as he was moving quickly earlier.

TG: where do i find you

TG: you can help me locate him

Bro taps your shoulder lightly as you look up from your phone into Rose's violet eyes. Jade, for a lack of a better word, pounces out at you from behind Rose.

"Surprise!" She grasps you in a tight, slightly uncomfortable hug.

"The guest of honor arrives." Rose looks you up and down, and you can't help but feel like she is somehow judging you.

She has light white-blond hair like yours, and she wears a white shirt, that on first glance, seems to have a perfectly cute squiddle on it. Actually, the eyes have been modified to make it look more fierce than endearing or cuddly. She seems like the kind of girl that's too smart to be mainstream, but too good-looking to be a total dweeb.

Jade, on the other hand, has a squiddle shirt and a pair of white dog ears on her head. She has jet-black hair, vibrant green eyes, and darkish tanned skin. She looks like she spends a bit of time out in the sun.

"Well," you say, "Thanks for coming all the way out here."

Before you can say anything, Bro interjects, "Lets find the Egderp and get moving. I've got a lot to do."

Rose rolls her eyes and says, "According to this map, the art hall is right off the main hall. It should be marked with a sign."

You all get moving, searching through the quite sizeable crowd of people for your dorky friend. You identify the Art Hall and sure enough, the nerd is busy looking at artwork.

"Ah, our bespectacled friend and his father!" Rose greets John.

"Hi guys!" John has to yell a little to stay louder than the crowd. "So nice to see you again! Happy birthday, Dave!"

"It's so nice to fucking see you, Egderp," you comment, receiving a judging glare from John's father, presumably for uttering a swear word within fifty meters of his son.

John cringes as well, as he knows not to swear in front of his dad. 'Don't call me Egderp." He sighs. "Either way, there's still lots to see and do!"

You all return to the entrance and start at the beginning. Though you personally couldn't care less about anime, your Bro and John and Jade all seem to really enjoy it, and you and Rose are basically just content that they are having fun.

What is really comical, however, is John's Dad's interactions with Bro. John's Dad keeps making an effort to make conversation with Bro, but Bro is too busy hitting on male cosplayers to respond most of the time. Sometimes the occasional female cosplayer catches Bro's eye, then he pursues her, making John's Dad feel marginally less awkward. Marginally.

"Their interactions are really hilarious," Rose comments. "Does he bother you when he acts that way?"

You know she's referring to Bro's antics. "No, not really. He might ask me if I have a boyfriend at home if he's being a butt, but he doesn't pressure me to feel a certain way."

"How do you feel?"

You know this is just what Rose does, she asks questions. You learned a long time ago that dodging her snoopiness is futile and that its better to just answer honestly. "I don't really care at this point. Male, female, doesn't matter much." You may have learned to answer honestly, but you still don't want to reveal how you really feel to her, good as her intentions may be. Either way, your answer is close enough to the truth to stop her from asking.

She squints her eyes at you, then smiles. "I suppose its not entirely my business anyway."

"Dave, come over here!" John is frantically motioning for you, as he stands near Jade in fromt of a merchant's table. Once you get there, he points at a sword lying on the table. "Look at that, it's an amazing sword! Almost a perfect replica!"

You don't have the heart to tell him how unbelievably shitty the sword probably is but you sigh and ooh and aah over it anyway.

Out of nowhere, John remembers something super important.

"Dave, I'm super excited for a game that's coming out next year."

That's when all your troubles started.


End file.
